On Prayer

Q&A With Father Sebastian Athappilly

Q: Prayer is an integral part of most religions. Some people might think that prayer is only about asking God for things. What do you think prayer is, or should be, about?

A: Prayer is a friendly and childlike conversation with God. It is also the request of the creature to the Creator for help in difficult times. The psalms are a good example of prayer that shows prayer as an open and free sharing with God everything a human being feels and experiences. The prayer “Our Father in heaven” taught by Jesus (Luke 11:2ff) and his own prayer at the garden of Gethsemane (Mark 14:32-36) are other good examples of prayer.

Prayer is very important to keep alive and intensify our relationship with God. The place and importance of prayer in religious/spiritual life is like water for a fish. Without a constant relationship of love, communion and communication with God, one cannot grow in religious and spiritual life. Within this relationship, there have to be some moments specially reserved for prayer, to be alone with God, to speak with Him and to listen to Him.

Q: In the Bible it is said that one must pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). What does this mean in practical terms? Is it at all possible to pray at every moment? Would that not interfere with one’s other essential tasks?

A: Yes, we have to pray without ceasing. In practical terms, it means that we should never cut asunder, forget, discard or discontinue our relationship with God. In other words, as Paul writes further in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “Give thanks in all circumstances”. Elsewhere in the Bible, in1 Corinthians 10:31, this is made precise: “Whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God”. This is a question of the inner attitude of the heart, and not that we should continuously recite some prayers by mouth.

Just as a mother is always related to her baby in heart and thinks of it although she may be doing many things, so too we can be related to God in an attitude of prayer while being engaged in the many duties of our day-to-day life.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 does not mean that we have to recite some prayers 24 hours a day. Being a person of prayer is not necessarily the same as being a person of prayers, and vice versa.

Q: How would you define being prayerful? How is it different from praying?

A: Being prayerful means to be in relationship with God; praying means to actually converse or speak with God. The former signifies a habitual continual state, while the latter the act of conversing or speaking with God from time to time.

Q: One form of prayer is making requests to God—for ourselves and for others. How would you respond to someone who says that there is no need to offer such prayers to God, as God, being omniscient, already knows what we need?

A: Prayer is primarily a loving dialogue or conversation with God, as I mentioned above. Prayer is not only asking God for things, though it does also include petition for others and/or oneself. This form of prayer does not presuppose that God does not know our needs. In other words, the prayer of petition does not have the function of first informing God of our needs and then requesting His help. He knows our needs already, long before we pray. Just as in the case of any human communication, the value of conversation here is to strengthen the mutual bond of personal love and relationship. In families, if we do not speak, our relationships will get weaker and weaker. Likewise, prayer, in general, intensifies, strengthens and deepens our relationship with God.

Prayers of petition also make us deeply aware of our need of God that we are all dependent on Him and that He is the author this world. One of the best ways of fostering this personal relationship with God is conversation and communication with Him through prayer. God cherishes this. Moreover, this is a blessing to us as well—to be able to chat with God, as between a father or mother and a child, or between spouses or friends! God can also will that certain things you obtain only when you request for them. Some of the reasons behind this could be the following: to make one aware the value of the gift, that one may really esteem it; to strengthen the bond of relationship: to deepen the consciousness of one’s dependency and so to grow in humility, etc. What would be the outcome, if someone (parents, friends) gives the things, as if an automatic machine?

In a conversation, we can bring in all that concerns us, even things that the dialogue or conversation partner already knows. If we think that we can talk about only those things that our friend does not know, it would strain our conversation and dialogue and we will soon have no subject to speak about! I should always ask or find out for myself, what all things my friend does not know already! Likewise in our conversation with God—we can ask Him for the needs of others and ourselves even though He already knows them. Moreover, a parent is only happy when a child speaks up its wishes and desires. At the same time, we must note that Jesus has warned us against long prayers of petition (Matthew 6:7).

Q: Some people say that God is within us. If that is so, then what is the need to pray? As far as I can understand, prayer is possible only in a relationship between oneself and another, who is other than us and outside of us.

Q: “God is within us,” means that God is in our heart, if we let him. Here it is not the question of God being merely present with His power of sustaining the existence as the Creator, but being present in a personal relationship as Father, Mother or friend. Moreover, even if God is within us, we can still pray to Him since He is a Thou or a Person who can be dialogically addressed. Prayer does not mean that it should be made of sounds that someone who sits outside can hear. Prayer or conversation with God can take place silently as well. Because God is Supreme Consciousness, God can take notice of whatever we perform in our consciousness.

God is, of course, other than us and beyond us. This does not necessarily mean that He is (only) outside of us or that He is (only) inside of us. He is the Inner Controller, the Supremely Transcendent as well as the Supremely Immanent.